What a long week. It's felt so long that I worried I forgot to post this last week. But no, just a strange, long week. It started with a moment of clarity that really changed how I've been feeling (good! yay!) but today some events made me feel like perhaps I was wrong (puzzling!).
Do you believe in fate? I do. I succumbed to the idea that everything happens for a reason sometime in high school. Maybe that's just religion in another form - words. I have been focusing a lot this week about the good things over ruminating over the bad things, and it's made a world of difference. You can't control what happens, but you can, to an extent, control what you give power. And giving that power to only good things this week has been really huge for my brain. I'd highly recommend you try!
First week I felt good/excited about getting dressed again. Definitely improvement in the mental realm of things. Trying this layout for the fitties instead of the slideshow, lmk what you think!
Monday - 1208
Coming off of a very tuff weekend but this day was okay. I did homework, I had a bagel, I watched the first White Lotus ep with my mom and we drove back to NYC. And then I had class. Twas an alright day.
Deets:
top: Old Navy
jeans: secondhand Nine West
necklace: Urban Outfitters
boots: old Target
Tuesday - 1209
I didn't love this outfit but it was fine. I had a breakdown Monday night and so this outfit is brought to you by my puffy eyes and doing my best.
Deets:
top: old Target I think
cardigan: Target
Pants: v old, from brand Shekou
Shoes: Eastland via DSW
Wednesday - 1210
YEAHHHHH I got dressed on a work from home day! That's fantastic news. I also loved this outfit even though it was pretty simple. Felt very good about it.
Deets:
sweatervest: thrifted via Buffalo Exchange
tee: Madewell
broach: 💐 vintage via Zandra and Chloe
pants: Lee Denim via Walmart
boots: Sam Edelman
Thursday - 1211
I genuinely cooked with this one. I'm very proud. I had this one in the dome for quite awhile, so I was excited to debut her hehe.
Deets:
buttondown: JustFab
shirt: Urban Outfitters
necklace: vintage
earrings: Buffalo Exchange
jeans: Madewell via Nordstrom Rack
boots: old target
Friday - 1212 (!)
Another one that was in the dome for awhile. I am loving this kind of silhouette right now: The dress I pinned up to give more of a long shirt vibe. I NEED you to know how cool these pants are. They're lace with butterflies on them! I thrifted them (!) from Buffalo Exchange, and I wore some random old black leggings underneath for appropriate-ness (even thought I was working from home) and because it was very, very cold.
Deets:
Top: dress from Target
Pants (lace): thrifted I.AM.GIA. via Buffalo Exchange
Leggings: I think I've quite literally had these since middle school (and I'm shocked that they still fit...)
Shoes: Shop Berness via Marshalls
Earrings: Champagne! I got these at CVS.
Saturday AM - 1213
My race uniform was taken out of hiding once again for the Al Gordon 4M! I have literally never been to Prospect Park and it was absolutely lovely. I will try to frequent!
Deets:
Jacket: Lululemon
White shirt: I've had maybe my whole life! Just kidding, but idk where from
Pants: Secondhand from my mama
Sneakers: Asics, obviously
Saturday PM - 1214
My Galentine's + Cat birthday party fit :D
Deets:
shirt: thrifted via Buffalo Exchange
shorts: Rag and Bone, 260 Sample Sale
socks: Marshalls
earrings: Buffalo Exchange
shoes: DSW
Sunday - 1215
WEIRD DAY! Reminded me that fate is maybe real. I'm confused and feel equally free and puzzled. So much happened. But best of all, I hung out with Alexa before she flew home again :)
Deets:
sweater: Garage Clothing from high school
jeans: secondhand, were mama’s
belt: I quite literally have no idea.
bag: vintage, sourced by Zandra and Chloe
shoes: DSW (yes, these again!)
Updates
Today was the first day of New Gym, and it was .... different. Lower ceilings, lots of people. Weird vibes, unsure how to feel.
I ran my first 4 mile race AND went to Prospect Park for the first time! It was good, despite me not having run a lot the past month honestly. I hit my goal by literally one second.
Celebrated Galentine's + Biene's 5th (!) birthday as well :) lovely times.
Watches
White Lotus S3
Well I would watch it if my wifi would work. First episode down.
I previously could not locate my copy of Haunting of Hill House, but have since found her. So now I'm going between that and One Day depending on da mood.
The Haunting of Hill House
by Shirley Jackson
For when I'm feeling fine or do not want to feel sad. Or want a spooky vibe that isn't related to the freakin American government.
One Day
by David Nicholls
For when I'm either feeling very sad or very fine. Weird, I know.
My last week's got two views so I guess this is a safe space for my musings. I just uploaded all my drafts onto hello poetry too (linked in the header of this section). I wrote this either last week or the week before, I'm not sure. I only wrote three this week and they're not finished. Imagine if ** reads this lol, I doubt it.
salt water
I much prefer the sadness.
though overwhelming, choking
it is rooted in love, in remembering
in the loss of something real, tangible, beautiful.
The anger is much worse, wicked
a fabricator of the truth:
that it didn't matter to you
and maybe never did.
I'll take salt water filling my lungs
burning, flailing, gasping for air
if it meant never forgetting you
Music
Been listening to fun music this week rather than sad music. Okay, fine, the occasional sad music. It still hurts a lot so I'm choosing ones that make me happy. Mostly.
Charli xcx: party 4 u
This is so great gatsby coded
Jungle: Keep Moving
Keep Moving physically, mentally, etc etc. I listened to this a bunch during my race!
ROLE MODEL: Superglue
We're gonna make it throOoOugh!
FINNEAS: Let's Fall in Love for the Night
I've been living in the future ! Hoping I might see you sooner!
Sydney Rose: We Hug Now
these tiktok edits RUINED me. WYM you're not wasting time stuck here like me (or are you?)
Ins/Outs
In this week is, as previously mentioned, focusing on the good things! Also getting enough sleep (it's in, because I haven't been). Focusing on myself also (deeply) is gonna be the vibes for the next like, four months.
Out is being negative. Like stop. I can't stand when people choose to actively sit in negativity just for the sake of being negative. Really bugs me.
Snacks
I made the Melanie classics for Saturday so I guess that's my snack of choice. Red velvet cake/cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and bean dip. Delish I fear.
Fixation
Whoa, you'll never guess. It's once again being positive. Super important and it WORKS. So that's what I've been focusing on. Also like saving money and doing things that bring me joy. Next week's focus will hopefullyyyyy be running more.
Picture of my Cat
As promised:
Thanks for reading, see you next week :)
♡♡♡
Mel
Comentários